The Art of Speeding

Unsure of its contents I gingerly open the official looking letter. A picture of my own face confronts me. Its bewildered expression remarkably similar to my current one.

The finest defense lawyer in the world would be hard pressed to persuade a jury that it was not me behind the wheel driving at 31 mph through a school zone. The crappy photo quality was, sadly, not crappy enough to conceal the identity of the accused. I feel angry, cheated and $80 poorer.

I hate photo speeding tickets.

They represent the lowest form of art, consistently exhibiting poor composition and the subject is invariably badly lit. The shot is weak, lifeless, cold, impersonal and utterly devoid of any creativity. It’s as if the photographer just threw up his hands in the air and quit mid-shutter. Even my children’s school photos that arrive home annually amid harsh, critical review show an modicum of effort to capture the subject in a favorable light.

The work before was infuriating with its startling lack of care. I felt the photographer harbored a smug feeling because he has the law on his side. He thinks I have no choice but to purchase his shoddy artwork.

Well he is wrong.
I do have a choice and my choice today is to not purchase. I will stick to my principals and make a stand for the sake of promoting good art. Sometimes it just feels good to do the right thing.

But then on closer inspection of the piece I noticed its value was forecast to appreciate by 100% in the next thirty days. I could buy it today for only $80 but if I waited a month it would cost me $160.

One hundred percent growth in only thirty days is truly remarkable. Opportunities like this only come along once in a lifetime. Applying compound interest over the next twelve months to my $80 investment would be worth a staggering $163,840.00!

I felt myself being torn. On one hand, stick to my principals. On the other hand, throw my principals out of the window, buy the crap art and cave in to the potential earnings.

So, I write the check and stuff it into the envelope. I feel giddy from my new found investment savvy. I wonder which frame will best compliment my latest art acquisition?